Impressions

I wrote these back in January and March, but they still have some meaning for me, so I brought them with me to Blogger.

Impressions

Why do we get offended when someone we love is hurt by what we've said or done? It only hurts them more, and we become more offended by their reaction.

It strikes me not only how powerful a simple gesture of understanding can be, but how much more meaning can be attributed to it not being given.

After we argued you stopped looking me in the eye, and I knew something had dramatically changed. Suddenly the importance of everything that I had said seemed so trivial compared to the damage it had caused.

We were never really alone. Your partner and the knowledge that the week would end hung overhead like a storm cloud and followed us wherever we went. It felt like we were cheated of the private joy we could have otherwise shared, …if only I was able to shake that cloud. But the weather worsened as the week progressed, and it rained heavily on the day we parted. Your plane was delayed, and even though it was stormy, all I can think of is how much I wish I had been there with you for just that much longer.

California is not as warm as I thought it would be in January, but there are homeless people there not wearing any shoes.

In the states I got the distinct feeling that if I smiled at anyone over the age of eight and under the age of sixteen, I was under suspicion of being a pervert. The day I came home I walked my dog around the block and felt relieved when a young woman of about fourteen years smiled at me when we past by.

In San Francisco car owners must spend a lot of money on maintaining their emergency brakes. … I saw a woman wearing high heals, taking very small and nervous steps down a steep hill, she must have been from out of town. The more you lean forward and swing your arms, the easier it is to climb a steep hill.

The bus driver stopped the bus, got out of his seat, and crouched in front of an old homeless woman who had fallen asleep in a bedraggled and urine smelling heap, her cart rolling unattended back and forth across the isle. The driver paused for a moment, either to see if the woman was alive, or for effect it had on the watching passengers, and then in a very loud voice said “Boo!”

I was only away for a week, but when I returned we both noticed that the others hair had grown in my absence.

Thinking about how I really should put an effort into the relationship I have with the woman I am living with because I suddenly remembered how much pleasure I got when I use to be able to make her laugh, … completely vanishes when after I angered her she tells me how the two of us never really ever got along, how we were never meant to be together. It’s funny how a few words can have such an impact on the course of someone’s life. Never doubt the power of your words.

Sorting my laundry I smelled your scent on my cloths and remembered everything about how it felt to be in your arms.