When I was little, for no reason that I can remember now, I constructed a nativity scene out of cardboard. I cut out all the characters, Mary and Joseph, the baby Jesus, and the manger livestock, and painted it all as life like as I was able to. I used a box with the front and sides cut away to create the manger, and then placed some bits of dried grass around the floor to simulate straw. I took it to school with me, and my teacher was very impressed, so much so that for days, whenever someone came to visit our classroom she would show it off to them and boast about my initiative and creative skill. I still remember how good it felt to receive her praise and hear the pride in her voice.
These days, when I've not been able to write anything except emails and posts, I've been examining my creative motivation, and though I constructed the nativity scene without any objective in mind, the kudos I received for it and the thought of having those feeling again became part of why I wanted to create.
I believe my writing has always been for me, to satisfy a creative urge, but just how much my desire to write is for the validation I hope to receive because of it, is what I've been questioning, and, whether or not those kudos have become more important to me than the creative expression. Both, I suppose are for me; I gain something from each, but the latter, I believe is greater motivator. It's what makes us do what we do, regardless of what others think, and it keeps us doing it because it's something we have to do.
I need to find that personal motivation again, and I thought it might be helpful to hear from others what motivates them to write and create. Why do you do what you do; is it for the kudos you hope to get, because of a goal you've set for yourself to achieve, or is it because you just have to do it, and the rest is just the frosting on the cake?
What motivates me to create is not so much the outcome, it's about where I go when I'm in the creative mood. It's one of my main reasons why I do my photography and I get a sense of missing something very important to me if I go too long without putting that camera in my hands. When I'm out on a "shoot" I get into the mind space where the clock doesn't click off the minutes or the hours. Time is standing still for me, when I'm really into it, the world is standing still. Nothing else matters. It's like meditation to me I guess. I'm focused on one thing only and everything else that is normally jumping around in my mind has quieted for that time. That's why I create, it's my quiet time.
ReplyDeleteYou know what drives me, Dar. I need to prove to myself any thing is possible if you believe enough in it yourself. If you listen to others you will never find your inner strength.
ReplyDeleteI always think about these people who have overcome disabilities to follow their dreams, to climb mountains, run long distance races and sail single handed across oceans. There are everyday people who find it impossible to simply get out of bed without having someone there to help them, who have to overcome things we take for granted.
Me, writing a book is child's play as long as I keep believing I can do it, it will happen. I don't care how long it takes before I see it in print, but one day I will, and it will be by a mainstream publisher.
It's your dream as long as you keep following it, Dar.
Best wishes to you & 'Thread' your writing cave dragon.
I enjoy the act of putting pen to paper. Making that first mark on the screen and following my thoughts to the end.
ReplyDeleteMy life is words
I write because if I didn't I would feel too 'full up'. I need to empty out and writing, and to some extent painting, does that. So it's like a constant 'emptying' because if I didn't, there would probably be an unseemly exposion:-)
ReplyDeleteKudos and validation are of course important. That's human nature. But it's also secondary - as you say, the frosting.
So just keep doing it Dar. I think the more you write, the more motivated you become. Bring on more nativity scenes!:-)
it's inspiration. suddenly. a word you hear or read. I love words, some words more than others, I'm sure you have that feeling too. I also find that I'm more inspired when I'm "tortured", sad, in a dark mood. my "bubbly" moods leave me with a blank page (same with tabblos). and I believe we ALWAYS write or I should say "create" with someone in mind. It's not that you want to be a celebrity but it's rewarding when someone says "hey that really made me think!".
ReplyDeleteYou motivated me yesterday (see my email) thanks Dar!
I write because I need to, but I also seem to need the outside validation. I think I'm basically quite unsure of myself and my writing so I need someone else to like it before I can feel good about it. I think I'd still carry on regardless though even if I didn't get any validation. Stopping would be too hard and too much of an admission of failure.
ReplyDeleteI like what you wrote Jude. I know what you mean by your "missing something..." When I'm in the middle of writing a story, or I've got my camera in my hand I am so high, ... and time just vanishes for me too. My partner always rags on me about how I lose track of all my other responsibilities when I'm in that creating frame of mine. For me, it's not exactly quiet, but it's like I'm inside of a bubble, and all that's inside that bubble is what I'm working on, and me working on it.
ReplyDeleteAnnie, I've got something to prove to myself too, and I think that's what puts my brakes on. If I can just get back to just doing, without those expectations, I'll be fine. It's the long term commitment to myself that I keep having difficulty with, especially right now, with my realization that I'm the only one that can prove to myself that I have what it takes. It's sort of a catch 22 situation, but believe me; I'm working on it. And Tread is getting a little irritated at me. I saw smoke coming out of cave the other day. Not a good sign. (grin)
Lane, I wish it were that way with me; when I'm not creating, I just go flat. If there were some sort of combustion thing happening inside then I know I'd just have to do something. ... But flat, well, it's self defeating, nothing happens, and it's so easy just to let it be. Eventually though, I end up feeling like I need to scream because I can't stand the emptyness. Not that, that's a motivator. (grin)
Leftie, that's what I'm wanting back, that immediate reaction thing. I had a very good day yesterday though, and today I made quite a few tabblos, so, juices are flowing again. :) ... yes I saw the email. ... and by the way, you always make me think. :)
Helen I need that validation too, but you know what's funny, when I'm writing I believe what I'm writing is good, and I think it's a masterpiece when I've polished it up. LOL, it's afterward, if I don't keep at it, I'll look at what I wrote and think, did I write that? I can't write that well. My gawd, how can I ever expect to do that again.
Crap, you know what my problem is? I'm use to thinking I'm a failure, so it doesn't bother me so much when it happens. It's the other stuff that I'm not use to, so it all feels like a fantasy to me. It's just pretend.
Caroline, sounds like you and flow have a good thing going. Keep at it. :)
ReplyDeleteHoly moses woman what a great thought provoking post :) DO NOT surpress your creative side m'dear, for it's one thing that we alone have total control over - by planning/masterminding we're ultimately rewarded by a unique creative experience. A creative life for me brings a sense of balance.
ReplyDeleteSo go out and explore, release those strings and let your creative ideas soar to a higher level. TFx
Dar,
ReplyDeleteJust the fact that you've been so true to your blog shows that you are a Writer... things to share, express - and you are wonderful with a pen!
Not everyone can do that well - but you can. You have. And we look forward to more of you!
Thank you!
peace,
Chuck
TF, I think you are so right. Living life is something of what I've been needing. Recently I've been getting out and meeting new people, beginning to feel a sense of community here, that I've not experienced before, and I'm in my element. Balance, I'm learning, is so very important. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you Chuck. :) ... Yes, I have been writing haven't I? (grin) And writing in this blog still has very much to do with accomplishing the meaning I want to have in my life, open honesty and connections. Thank you for that reminder. :)
I seem to remember telling you something about balance. It is important..glad you are getting out and meeting new people.
ReplyDeleteAs for inspiration: I personally have not figure it out yet. I spent all my life drunk and now that I'm sober: I'm like a tiny kid who doesn't even yet know that they are an artist. But I'll let you know when I first get inspired.
keep up the good, honest work!
You did at that Zed. :) ... I have a tendency to rebuke advice I think I'm not capable of. It's not intentional, just something I've begun to notice that I do. Thank you for popping in Zed; I thought I had lost you. I'll be looking forward to your telling me when you get inspired, but I have a feeling that you already are; you just haven't recognized your blogging as an outlet for your self-expression. :)
ReplyDelete