There's an elephant crashing in my garden shed!

Just when I was about to give up on ever writing anything again, Tom Foolery posted something on her blog called The Thirteen Knockers games. In the name of fun, we participants were to choose one of the thirteen doors. Behind each door there was a photo, taken by TF herself, and a word to help inspire our creativity. We could write anything we wanted, from a witty caption to a piece of prose, the only rule was to 'make us laugh'. Behind the door I chose was a photograph of what looked to be a small storage shed with tiny sign hanging from it, that said 'crash'. The inspirational word that TF's gave was 'Elephant'.

The reason I am posting this on my blog, however is not to elicit your opinions about how well it's written, or even if it makes you laugh. The reason I'm posting it is because I haven't had so much fun in months. It just came out of me, and I just have to share the experience. :)

... I forgot what it was like to write something simply for the fun of doing it. Lately I've been putting so much pressure on myself to create meaning in my life though my writing, and to prove to myself that I am worthy by producing meaningful work. These are still things I feel I need to do, but during all this soul searching and evaluation I've been doing, I forgot one crucial thing.

I forgot that one of the main reasons I like to write is because it's fun. I love playing with words, and when I'm in the middle of writing something there's nothing else in this world that I'd rather be doing instead.

TF Thank you. You can't possibly know how much I was needing to be reminded of this.

So anyway, here's the story:

There's an Elephant Crashing in my Garden Shed!

Have you ever seen an elephant crashing? Let me tell you, it's not a pretty sight. There's nothing sadder, or more life threatening then a depressed elephant. They have a tendency to just roll over and give up, and if you're not careful, they can take you down with them. The experience can leave you feeling totally flat. But if you happen to find yourself in a small storage shed with a crashing elephant, and if you have even an ounce of compassion, there’s nothing for it; it's up to you to get the two of you out of there, preferably, in an upright and three dimensional state.

Not an easy task however, especially if the shed that your elephant has chosen to hide him, or herself away in is small and dark, and it usually is, since elephants don't really like to be seen in public when they are down. Back yard garden sheds, large walk-in closets, and abandoned aircraft hangers are their choice of hiding places. (The latter chosen only by those elephants who really don’t wish to be found.)

It’s a popular belief that if an elephant hides away, what they are wanting is to be left alone in their misery. The small signs they post, somewhere on the outside of their hiding places, have been seen as considerate safety warnings for smaller creatures such as ourselves, to keep out of harm’s way. But even though elephants are by nature normally very gentle, and wouldn’t even want to hurt a mouse if it happened to cross their path, the fact that the sign’s meaning and placement are so obscure, somewhat counters this altruistic notion, and suggests that the elephant might actually be hoping to be found.

Once you enter the shed, and chances are that one day you will, since backyard storage sheds are a popular choice, not only for depressed elephants, but also for storing lawn mowers and leaf rakes in as well, you’ll have to keep your wits about you. Move quickly (crashing elephants tend to fling themselves dramatically about), and say just the right things... And never, I mean never, give the impression that you are the least bit concerned about your own safety; even though at this point you are probably thinking, what the heck have I gotten myself into? You might as well sign over the deed to the plantation right then and there if you show any sign of fearing for your life, because that's one of the main reasons elephants get depressed in the first place.

You see, elephants take up a lot of space, and it is something they are constantly aware of. The thought that they could easily crush another being if they are not careful is a constant concern of theirs. Because their size is always an issue, an elephant can begin to question their worthiness to occupy so much space, and as every human being knows, such thinking will only back you into a corner of debilitating self doubt, or in the elephant’s case, into a small, dark storage shed.

Somehow, you have to convince your elephant that despite his or her size, his or her inherent proficiencies will prevent such an unpleasant occurrence from ever happening. Gently, you must remind the elephant (that’s frantically pacing inside your garden shed,and at that very moment threatening your life and limb) that the ability he or she is questioning, is something they innately have, and just as soon as they stop worrying about whether or not a moment of clumsiness will cause the death of another living being, their natural gracefulness will simply take over. The mere fact that you even entered the shed in the first place will go a long way in backing up your words, but you might want to calmly point that fact out to the elephant, because contrary to popular belief, some elephants can be rather thick.

Even an elephant can use a friend now and again, so if one happens to have chosen you and your storage shed, instead of rushing off to the nearest phone to call the animal control, try to see the interloping as a sign of respect and trust. And if you happen to have any peanuts in your pantry, rush off to get those instead; you never know, the elephant in your shed may not have eaten in quite awhile, and many a friendship has developed over the sharing of a few dry roasted nuts.