One day queers and straights will all live peacefully and equally together. We'd all get up each morning, go to work, take care of our homes and families, and meet the challenges life presents to each of us as best we can. We'd cry when we are sad, laugh when we are happy, feel the joy of falling in love, and the debilitating sorrow when someone we love passes away. We'd live our lives very much like we do now, but with the singular exception, we'd all be considered equal in the eyes of the state and in society. But not today.
Today when I heard that the California Supreme Court had upheld proposition 8, I was shocked. I really did think that they would do the right thing and overturn the 2008 California election bill that took away the recently gained right for same sex couples to marry.
At first I was angry. It just isn't right. I mean, how can anyone believe what they are doing is just, when their actions hurt so many? My heart went out to all of those in California who have worked so long and hard to overturn the bill. It wasn't difficult to imagine what they must be feeling coming up against such an unyielding wall of resistance, after having spent so much time trying to break through that barrier of misunderstanding and hate.
Then I realized that my anger was because of the frustration I felt and it turned to tears. As a lesbian here in Canada, I have the right to marry another woman. My partner and I would have the same rights and privileges as a married man and woman would have. Even as things are now, our long term common-law relationship is recognized by the government, just as it's heterosexual counterpart is.
If my partner and I were to marry, our neighbours might see us coming out of the house dressed in our finest duds, hear the horns of the cars in our wedding party, and the clanging of the cans tied to the back of our Tracker as we drove past. They'd gossip for a bit, maybe a few would even roll their eyes, but in a week or so, everything would be back to normal. We'd all go about our own lives just as we'd all done before. We'd get up in the morning, go to work, love and care for our families, mow our lawns on the weekends, and meet the challenges life presents to us each day.
On the surface everything would be the same. What difference does it mean for anyone if my partner and I have the security of knowing that if the other becomes ill, we'd be able to visit them in the hospital as next of kin, or if our home, life, and auto insurances are jointly owned? How does it change anyone else's life if one of us dies and our home and property automatically goes to the other? Who does it affect but ourselves if we gain the right to decide how best to deal with our partners remains? The privileges we would gain by being married wouldn't take away any from those who already take them for granted as their basic rights and freedoms, so what is all the fuss about? I just don't understand.
The fight for equality continues in California, and I am so very proud of the strength and commitment of my queer brothers and sisters there, and all over the US. ...This morning I felt so ineffectual just sitting here feeling hurt and frustrated and doing nothing. Writing this was all that I could think of. It's a small thing I know, but if what I have to say gets though to one person then I've at least done something, and it's a start.
Wonderfully put Dar.
ReplyDeleteI can't believe they've revoked the ruling:-(
I think you're mainly preaching to the converted here, but you've put your thoughts over so eloquently and I feel for you. In the UK things do seem to be getting better all the time - certainly in terms of the legislation and legal position, but we shouldn't lose sight of the fact that isn't true everywhere. Lots of hugs to you.
ReplyDeleteGay marriage has been happening for 5 years now in Mass., and look at all the negative things that have happened there! And the same for Canada, right Dar? What's happened? Not a dang thing. Just like you've said, life goes on but with everyone being equal.
ReplyDeleteThank you Lane. They revoked the ruling because of Proposition 8 on an election ballot last year. Jude would know better than I about the statistics since she lives in California, AND, is still happily married, since the Ca Supreme Court didn't revoke the marriages that had taken place before they changed the rules.
ReplyDeleteThank you very much Helen. :) It does seem that way, doesn't it? Who knows, maybe someone on the fence about this issue will drop by one day, and what I've said will convert them too. :)
Jude you got it! Not a single apple cart was tipped! ... To tell you the truth, I had to do a bit of online research to find out when exactly the bill allowing same sex marriage in Canada was passed. Here's what I dug up:
"In October 2004, the Supreme Court heard the case, and in November of 2004, they ruled in our favour, including refusing the answer the 4th., improperly put, question. In the spring of 2005, Bill c-38 went before the parliament in a topsy-turvy and vituperous session, with alliances between parties several times threatening to topple the government and kill the bill. But in the end we were victorious and won the House votes and the passage through the Senate."
Very well written. I feel exactly the same way.
ReplyDeleteIt saddened me to hear about Prop 8. I really expected it to be overturned. And here I sit in Canada, hotbed of depravity and perversion, with all the legal rights that everyone else is asking for. I feel so fortunate, and so angry, because everyone should have them.
I didnt know anything about this, I mean why should I since I live in France and dont follow issues like this. But I agree with you, people in caring loving relationships should have the rights which you listed in your post. In the UK marriage is now an option for all. Legal rights for people living together in France are very difficult indeed, so I cannot imagine same sex marriage happening for a v long time. I feel sure that the Pope would jump up and down in his robes and shake his fist.
ReplyDeleteMy friend who lives in California told me about this when it happened and I was so surprised. I always thought that they were a forward thinking bunch of people there but I guess I was wrong.
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