Photo Tag

I've been tagged by Tom Foolery. The rules of the game are: Go to the 4th folder in your computer where you store your pictures. Pick the 4th picture in that folder . Explain the picture. Tag 4 people to do the same.

Well, I didn't quite have to break the rules, just bent them a bit. No one said the folder had to be the fourth from the top, ... and the fourth pic, from that folder wasn't something I'd dare share publicly; ... think partner privately bathing in a lake while on a camping trip... :)

Anyway, the fourth pic from the last, in the fourth folder up from the bottom, luckily is something I, and my sweet lovable, kind and considerate, ... and sometimes very soapy partner, :) doesn't mind in the least my sharing with you all.

I took this photo one day just walking around the neighbourhood with my camera, just shooting whatever caught my eye. It's one of the ones I'm most pleased with, - more luck than anything else, and something I haven't been able to repeat since.

I tag Jude, because she's an excellent photographer (and she's going to kill me for this!) Zed, because I think she could use a bit of silly fun, Boo, even if she does needs debellyfying (grin), and Annie, because she's the first blogger to comment on something I posted, other than those I already knew before I joined blogger. Tag, you're it. :)

Poem

Battered daily by a storm
that no one else can sense
hopes snapped off
like dry and brittle twigs

In the calm, new branches grow
only to be torn away
by the next gust of wind

Eclipse - This piece of music speaks to my soul

Eclipse

Vibrating toothbrushes

So what is it about these new fangled vibrating toothbrushes anyway? I got one this Christmas in my stocking, and for the last couple of days I've been trying to use the thing. What are you suppose to do; stick it in your mouth and let the vibrating bristles clean your teeth? It sounds like I have a mouthful of bees in there, and if I brush like I normally would, the vibration doesn't seem to be worth its expense. I've tried just moving the brush slowly and lightly over my teeth and gum edges, trying to take advantage of what I think it's suppose to do. But I can't seem to resist the urge to work the brush like I've always done, and my teeth feel funny afterward if I don't.

It didn't come with instructions, not anything like, "...brush gently but firmly, maximizing the vibration and making sure to move the brush over the gum line...' or with an assuring: "If your teeth feel funny afterward don't worry; it's a sign that you are using the brush in the way it was designed to be used."

Do these new fangled toothbrushes work better than the old fashioned wrist action ones do? Am I missing something crucial that everyone else knows, and probably read from the instructions on the earlier model's packaging, or from a bulletin sent out by The Dental Association of America? Or are they just an expensive fad, banking on people's beliefs that new and fangled must be better, and their desire to have the brightest and whitest smile they possibly can have?

The Christmas before this last, I got a toothbrush that played "Rock & Roll All Night" when I pressed it against my teeth. I'm thinking that at least a swarm of bees is better than having the band 'Kiss' in my mouth! LOL

TGIF

So it's Friday, and what I need most right now, more than anything, is a F’ing good time. I need to get drunk with friends and laugh, and laugh. And laugh. I need to get high and talk about writing and philosophy and art, and the profound meanings of life, and how amazing it is that bubbles keep trying to maintain their perfect circular shape until they burst, and my gawd, how amazingly wonderful those potato chips taste! I need to dance! And I need someone to dance with with me, with both of us loosing ourselves to the notes and rhythms, till our heads are empty of all anxieties and thought, till there’s no one else in the room, only the music and the other, and the dance. I need to be sitting around a campfire, drinking fireball whiskey out of a tin cup, and hear the metallic clink of that cup, feel the small sticky droplets of the liquor fall onto my hand when it collides in a hearty ‘Cheers’ with the other cups, in the other hands, of those sitting around the fire with me. Find comfort in the companionable silence, and go to sleep that night without a thought or a worry that nights like this might only ever exist in my dreams.

Responsibility to yourself

My apologies to anyone who's been watching this blog and wondering how I've been doing. It's not that I haven't been writing any blog posts, I have, I've written at least a half a dozen, but the thoughts and feeling that I've written in them have changed so quickly that I abandoned them before I could post them.

The reason for my undecidedness is that I've been doing a lot of soul searching of late, more than usual, and since the subject that's prompted the inward looking concerns someone other than myself, I don't really have the right to air our dirty laundry out in public.

There have been a few things though that I've learned during this time of in depth navel gazing that I feel are universal enough to share.

1. You have no control over how other people feel about you. ... Now this was a hard one for me to realize, because I'm the type that always has to fix things, and I've never been able to go to sleep at night leaving something unresolved.

2. Sometimes you have to let things go to take care of yourself, even if what you are letting go of is something you think you can't live without. ... This one goes with the one above, in fact, it's probably the same thought just looked at a little differently.

3. And this last is a summation of all of it: Your own needs can't be denied and you have the right to see to it that they are met. In fact, it's your responsibility, not anyone else's. But that doesn't mean that the people in your life have no responsibility toward you. If they call themselves your friend or partner, there are certain responsibilities that go along with those proclamations, just like there are if you tell them the same things. Those responsibilities should be amicable to both, but you get to decide yourself if what is offered is something you are willing to accept based on what you needs are from such a relationship.

This may sound cold and selfish, and I'm still having trouble with it, but it does go both ways. You also have to accept that the other has the same right to care for themselves, and the same responsibility to ensure that their own needs are met, just like you do.

I just can't bring myself to toss this into the rubbish heap

Maybe some things you thought dead, actually do have some life in them yet. No matter how hard you try though, you can't get back what has withered away. At some point you either have to make the decision to nurture what remains, or give the whole thing up as lost.

This pepper plant that I had given up on as dead after it had been covered with snow, has now sprouted new leaves and buds. I just re potted it and placed it in a sunny location.

It's done

It's done. Yesterday I spent the entire afternoon going over 'Letting Go of Baggage' making sure there wasn't anything in it that cried out awkward, or incorrect, or unclear, at least as far as I could see. I spent a long time fussing about the format, farting around with headers footers, and margins, ... printing the whole thing off, then seeing something that I missed or didn't have right, and doing the whole thing over again, at least three times.

Finally I was satisfied that what I'm sending off won't be tossed out simply because it doesn't look professional enough, and it won't seem that I don't know what I'm doing because I haven't done it before, ... which is more accurate than the impression I'm wanting to give, but please don't tell anyone I think that way. (Grin)

Sometimes you know, I feel like I'm just play acting. It's all make believe, and my sending off a story is part of the script I need to follow to play my part as a writer. Maybe that's just the way people feel when they do things they aren't sure of but they do them anyway with that 'just do it' attitude.

I'm not so familiar with that attitude that I would recognize how one would feel at that time. I've spent far too much of my life imagining that the outcome of my efforts would be for naught, and so I let my imaginings dictate my actions. But as TF said in a previous post of mine, quoting an age old wisdom, in that short but to the point way of hers: "Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Don't live with the thought of "What if, only.." " And I figure, hey, the real rejection of what I've written can't be all that much worse than the imagined one, can it? (Grin)

... So the manuscript is in the mail, and I'll let you know somewhere between April and September how the real stacks up against the imagined. In the mean time though, I've got a part to play, and in keeping with the script, I'm suppose to write more stories, and possibly find places to send them off to, and just keep on keeping on, because, well, that's what writers do.

How do you format a manuscript anyway?

Okay, so I'm going to do it, I've got a pen name, and I've found an article online here that explains what the standard manuscript formatting is if it's not stated by the guidelines. They only thing they've give in their guidelines is that it should be double spaced. So, Courier, double spaced, 1.25" margins on each side, 1" on the top and bottom. Pages numbered. And cover page, ... thankfully they are not asking for a bio. I'd better write one just in case I need it for the next time.

What I'm not sure about and would really appreciate advice on is, what size font? The article didn't say. I use 14, but I seem to remember seeing somewhere that it was 12.... And is that 1" margins on the top and bottom as well as having a header and footer, and where do you put the page numbering, should it be centered in the bottom header? Also, I haven't a clue how to format a title page, and if I should use my pen name in place of the called for author's name, or should I give both? One more thing, if I have a title page, do I also include the standard header on the first page telling the title of the story and the author?

Taking a deep breath. :)

I can't believe I'm seriously considering this....

Submission Guidelines for Best Lesbian Erotica 2010

Kathleen Warnock is now accepting submissions for Best Lesbian Erotica 2010, to be published by Cleis Press in Fall 2009.

Submission Guidelines:
- Submit short stories, self-contained novel excerpts, other prose
- Unpublished material will be considered
- Previously published material will also be considered, provided it was or will be published between 9/1/2008 and 12/31/2009
- Submit 2 hard copies of each submission
- Include a cover page with: Author's Name, Title of Submission(s), Address, Phone/Fax, and Email Address
- All submissions must be typed and double-spaced; number the pages.
- Each submission should be a maximum of 5,000 words (list word count on title page)
- You may submit a maximum of 3 different pieces of work
- No email submissions will be accepted, but you can email queries to Kwarnockble (at) gmail.com
- Manuscripts will not be returned
- VERY IMPORTANT: Any submission that is being simultaneously submitted to another annual erotica anthology (for example, The Ultimate Lesbian Erotica, Best Women's Erotica, etc.) will not be accepted.

Submission Deadline:
Submissions will be accepted throughout the year. The final (postmark) deadline is April 1, 2009. All submissions will be responded to by the end of September. Early submissions are encouraged.

Mailing Information:
Send all submissions to:
Kathleen Warnock
31-64 21st St., #319
Long Island City, NY 11106
Attn: BLE2010

Oh my gosh, I don't believe I'm actually thinking of submitting 'Letting Go of Baggage' to this. The title of the anthology is very daunting. Couldn't it be just a little less pretentious? I mean, the best of? How could what I've written be considered as that? But the story fits the criteria otherwise, and Cleis Press accepts both solicited and unsolicited submission, as well as published and unpublished works. So... Oh my. I know, rejection is part of the learning process too. (grin) The thing is, I'm already having fantasies about having the story accepted. Rejection or acceptance, either way it's going to be an experience. I guess I'd better start writing more stories so I don't put all of my hopes on this one.

Do you think I should think of a pen name? Any suggestions?

I can't believe I'm seriously considering this!

Face to face VS online

I'm all out of sorts. I'm tired of hearing how much more important face to face relationships are compared to online ones. It seems to be a thread of discussion that's going around like a virus these days. I'm tired of having my friends and my relationships with them down graded into virtual bits and bytes, tired of having people feel sorry for me because they think I don't have a real life, or think that what I have to offer is less important because I can't be in the same room with them.

I am real, and I believe the people I connect with online are real too. There's a flesh and blood person sitting at a computer in California, or Florida, or in England, or even in Timbuktu that I haven't met yet, who thinks and feels, has a heart and a soul, who laughs, and cries, feels happiness and sadness, ... just like I do. And just because I can't see the flesh and blood part doesn't mean what we share isn't as valid as it would be if I could.

Why do people think that face to face relationships are more meaningful and important? It is true, that if I could be in the same room with the friends I've made online, it would be much more fulfilling. There are many things that you miss out on because of the limitations of an online relationship, but that doesn't make them any less important, valid, or meaningful. It just makes you feel sad sometimes, is all. And that's a small price to pay for the joys of getting to know and loving someone that you would otherwise never have had the chance to, if wasn't for the very computer your are are sitting in front of now.

I wouldn't trade any of the friendships I've made online, for a dozen face to face shallower ones simply because I could have with them, what I can't have with the connections I've made online. Maybe it's just me, but what I value in someone has very little to do with their zip code, or their vicinity.

Letting Go of Baggage

Well, I've thought about this for awhile, and I kept changing my mind, so the heck with it; I've posted the lesbian erotica story that I just re-worked. I'm not sure how it will be received, but I've never edited myself before, so I'm not about to start now. I happen to think that writing a good piece of sex fiction is a difficult thing to accomplish. So please be forewarned. 'Letting Go of Baggage' which has just been added to the 'My Stories' list on the right, is lesbian erotica, and some might even describe it as porn. ... And Mom, please don't read this! LOL. ... It is a fantasy though, that's what erotica is all about.

... Oh I don't know if I really should do this.....

Ennui strikes again

So the new year isn't starting out well for me. I'm not writing and I feel miserable. The story ideas I felt so positive about before Christmas just don't seem to have enough substance. I haven't talked to my best friend in over two weeks because she's unable to come online to chat for some reason, and she seems as happy as a clam because of all the free time she has to herself. My house is clean and tidy and I've nothing to do; I swept the floor twice today, once, to pick up all the little bits, and a second time just to make sure I didn't miss anything. I played solitaire about fifty times this afternoon, and lost every game. I'm sliding into a rut again, feeling sorry for myself, and the two glasses of wine I just had isn't helping.

I know attitude is everything, but I can't seem to shake the nasty one clouded around my head and seeping into my skull. Please don't encourage me by responding with anything that suggests you feel sorry for me, but if anyone reading this knows of a way to to make that cloud go away, I would appreciate it to no end.

Think I'll go get another glass of wine and bury myself in a book.

Happy New Year!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ym0x3vTw6yc