I believe in myself because the things I believe in are important to me, and I am the one who decided those thing are worthy of my efforts and attention, and that hasn't changed. I accept who I am because I see where I want to go. and for me, that defines who I am more than the faulty programming that gets in my way, and more than a friend leaving me because of it.
Better than anyone else, I know what I can be, and part of me is already there - the part that is capable of unconditional love. I know that I have this ability in me because I've felt the shear joy of it for everyone I have ever loved, before that loving became corrupted by the press of my own unfulfilled needs and the encroaching fear of losing that which had begun to fulfill them.
I will always want to love with an open heart no matter how many times I get hurt, and no matter how often I screw it up. Doing so is the only way I will truly be able to experience that love that I crave, both in the receiving and giving of it. My need for secure attachments, and the anxiety I feel over losing that which comes nearest in providing it, is the handicap that keeps getting in the way of that love. But I am determined to do the work needed to make it less so, and one day, make the problem disappear altogether.
Continuing to love with an open heart is the only way I can think of to to achieve this. . ... And at the same time, and like my Therapist suggested might be the way for me to go, fulfill my basic need for that missing love and security from the top down, while working toward the more loftier spiritual goal of becoming my best self.
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