Heck of a predicament for a 'people person' to be in

I went to see the counsellor that The Citizens Counselling Centre set me up with, and I'm disappointed.

We talked for an hour, about what I wanted from the sessions, about my growing up, about my relationship with my parents, my relationship with my wife - getting to know me kind of stuff. ... Anyway, when we were finished I asked what her credentials were. She told me she was just a counsellor, not a  registered counsellor, not a clinical counsellor, but someone just finishing up her social workers degree, trained by the Centre, to, as she put it, give back to society.

When I mentioned I identified strongly with at least three of the symptoms of BPD, and somewhat with 2 others, possibly adding up to the 5 symptoms needed to diagnose someone with the disorder. She told me she wouldn't be able to do that, that she was someone I could talk to and that was basically it.  She told me that a lot can be accomplished by becoming aware of a problem. I told her that being 'aware' out here in the quiet and the calm, hasn't really had that much affect on my behaviour when I've lost control of my emotions, and I'm feeling that the things I say and do are the only way I know how to cope. (Scary stuff, huh?)  Yeah, I need therapy, not counselling.

I was under the impression that I could at least be diagnosed enough at the centre to be referred to some other place, or someone else who better suited my needs, but it looks like that's not about to happen.

The woman I saw tonight suggested that if that is what I wanted, I should make an appointment with my medical doctor, and get a referral from her to be seen by a professional who could make a diagnoses, which could take a very long time before I even get to see that someone.

I don't know what to do.

I've looked up Registered Clinical Counsellors in Victoria, and there are three listed who say they know something about BPD, and only one who says they use Dialectical behaviour therapy, (that which has been proven to be most effective on BPD symptoms). All say they have a sliding fee, but two say their average fee is $100 to $110 an hour, and the one who does DBT, her average fee is listed as $100 - $150 an hour. I can't afford that, we can't afford that.  .... I don't even understand how anyone could.

... There's a Clinical Counsellor in the same building as the Citizens Counselling Centre. He has a sliding scale fee. Based on our income, it would be about $60 an hour , which we could just afford,  but he doesn't list BPD as something he deals with, and doesn't offer any of the therapies that are know as being affective in treating the symptoms.

Even if I am diagnosed with BPD, private therapy is not covered by the provincial health insurance, unless it is given by a psychologist who works for a government institution, hospital, community clinic, or school, again, another waiting list. -  Right about then I'd be hoping for a full Borderline Personality Disorder diagnose so that I'd qualify for assistance, otherwise, I'd have to have a private health insurance plan to cover the bill, and it's been two years and I still haven't convinced my partner to take the time to add me to her plan.  I don't even know what's covered under it.

I don't know what to do.  Right now it seems that the only real solution is to avoid developing  close friendships where my need for connection maybe satisfied; that way I won't fear losing them, and then push them away with my inappropriate attempts to keep them from leaving me.

Heck of a predicament for a 'people person' to be in.