if I wasn't queer
if I wasn't non-binary
if I didn't see the world differently
If I hadn't developed my own sense of right and wrong
If I didn't have opinions that I think should be given equal crediance
If I didn't complain about inequities and injustice
If I didn't believe in my own intelligence or trust my own instincts
If I didn't struggle with depression and loneliness
If I wasn't emotionally sensitive and highly reactive to my environment
If I just didn’t feel everything so deeply
If I could only control my anger
If I didn't believe that all people deserve care
If I could just do better without needing others
then people would like me more
and I wouldn't be alone.
This makes me wonder, if my one special someone hadn't accepted all of those things that are different about me, could I manage. Would self-love, accepting that I am who I am - so different from others, be enough?
ReplyDeleteThose are all important questions.
Thank you for commenting Halle. Im very glad you have a one special someone. ❤️ I think it's much more difficult to love yourself when you dont have anyone but yourself loving you. With so much rejection in my life, loving myself often becomes an act of defiance where I'm continually having to rebuild my trust in who I am. This piece is about that having to rebuild, from that place where self doubt and self love collide.
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