Our Whole Selves

There are many memes and quotes like this going around Facebook and the Internet in general, that talk about how we can only blame our past for how we are for so long, that each of us then has to take responsibility for who and how we are, and for the most part, I agree…  But I can’t help but think that taken out of context, the simplicity of such statements leaves much to be desired when it come to being compassionate and  understanding about how difficult it can be  to become our true authentic selves.  Meaning no offense to J.K. Rowling,  I feel that without qualification, such statements can cause unreasonable expectations of ourselves and of each other, and ultimately, do us more harm than good.

Reshaping the blueprint of who we are can be a long and soul searching process, one that for many of us can last a life time. Leaving behind how our past has shaped us doesn't happen simply because we decide to take full responsibility for who we are. No matter how hard we try, some parts of us will continue to resist change, and so I believe that taking responsibility for ourselves also means honestly accepting and loving all that we are and all that we’ve become, including those so called broken bits.

Personally, there are somethings about my own formative years blueprint that I realize I will never be able to change. I believe I will always be sensitive and emotionally vulnerable; these traits being so woven into the fabric of my being I find it impossible to separate them from everything else that I am. …Of course, I want to have control over my emotions, but I have found that trying to change or eliminate these characteristics because they are  difficult for myself or for others, is more detrimental than good for my well being.  I always end up feeling confined, restricted, and resentful that the world doesn't accept how I am, and that I have to be less like me, and  more like everyone else  to feel accepted and loved. But if I personally look at these traits of mine from a different perspective, seeing my sensitivities and vulnerabilities as assets and not as a liabilities, that's when personal change really begins to take place.

I believe that when we honestly accept how we truly are is when we  finally give ourselves the licence to begin to grow into our true authentic loving selves, the self that only we can be. Who we are has everything to do with how we got there and what stuck to us along the way.  Accepting our whole selves, taking those so called broken bits, and  shaping them along with everything else that we are, into something positive that we can move forward with,… that’s when we cease to be a victim of our past and start beginning to be who we really are meant to be.