Their Loss or Mine?

A friend of mine has always told me that when he loses a friend he tells himself it's their loss, but I've never understood that way of thinking, because I've always seen myself as the one left behind. The one doing the leaving thinks it's a good idea, while I'm the one that's sad because they're gone.

But now I think I'm beginning to understand what my friend meant. If someone I've become friends with decides to make a retreat or end the relationship, I shouldn't always take it so personally, especially now when I'm in the middle of a transition.  For one reason or another, that friend no longer identifies with who I am now, or where they think I'm going. But the thing is, I do!  I really do!

I may be losing friends because I am changing, but I'm gaining them for the same reason, - those who appreciate me how I am now, not how I was.  Perhaps when I lose a friend I should see it as a sign that I'm not standing still. It's highly likely that I'm the one that's growing and moving on (perhaps we both are). If I believe in myself and trust in the direction I've chosen, which I do, then I have to believe that what I have to give another in friendship or in love is worthy of another choosing to walk with me, ... and since I believe that where I am going is a wonderful place, then it is in fact their loss, as well as mine, if they don't choose to share it with me.

But those who share the path with me NOW, those are the ones that matter the most! They're the ones who I admire and who inspire me, and perhaps the fact that they have chosen to walk with me as well, means that they admire me, and I inspire them....

Whoa!  I really like how that feels, that I can be inspiring to another.

Thank you Mike and Oz, for sharing your wisdom on this subject with me. It's certainly taken me some time to make it my own. I'm hoping that means that I will remember it and be able to keep it, because I think this might be something I really need to keep.