I just woke up, right up from a dead sleep, or what I thought was one, to this thought: "I've got free and easy up the ying-yang, what am I doing looking to have more of that in my life?"
No offense to anyone I've been talking to recently about the subject; I do love you and appreciate your friendships very much, but my problem isn't that I need more free and easy. I've got over one hundred friends on Facebook, and no offense to any of them either; I think it's great that we can connect the way we do. There's a certain intimacy to the availability of the communication we share, something I think we all crave, but I want and need something more in my life as well, at least from a specific few.
The thing is, I make a commitment in my heart to the friends that I love, whether you are online or not, and whether I tell you or not, chances are that I have, I promise you that I will be there for you however I can, and it's not just a responsibility to me, it's a joy and a pleasure.
I'm not a free and easy come and go friend; I am a committed friend. I promise you that I will do the best I can to provide you with the things that you need from our friendship, and no matter what happens in my life, even if it's a problem between the two of us, I make certain that you know that you are a priority of mine.
No offense meant to anyone, but more free and easy is not what I need right now. I need friends that won't disappear out of my life because the important things in their life demand their attention. I need friends that want me to know that I am an important part of their life just like those other things, and I need friends that have no problem telling me this. This is what's lacking in my life, and I don't believe there is something wrong with me because I need theses thing. I think everyone does.
Please don't get me wrong, I so very much appreciate the friendships and connections I have made here online. I met my wife on a newsgroup, so I know that real and devoted friendships can happen here. We are all 'real' people after all. But, - and I'm not certain if its a sign of the times or if its specific to the online communities, from where I sit there doesn't seem to be a lot of commitment made here. Again no disrespect meant, but how can you tell someone that they are a real friend if you can't give them something of that commitment, and how can someone believe they are important to you when everything in your concrete life takes precedence over them?
My reason for writing this is not to say that my online friendships aren't good enough, (believe me, somedays I don't know what I'd do without you), but to confirm, to myself more than anyone else, that I should be able to expect a higher level of commitment from some.
If that's not you, please don't be offended by this post, but I need to put my energy into finding and making those friendships, because right now, that's what's lacking in my life, and I deserve to have it.
Expected to see a lot more in-depth comments back at you on this, Dar. Maybe our expectations are not often realized. With very few real friends but many passing aquaintences, I feel the depth of your feelings on the subject. True friends are a rare breed. I cherish the ones that deserve to be.
ReplyDeleteHi Mike. It means a lot to me that you visit and comment. I think blogs are becoming a thing of the past, everyone is opting for the quicker and more immediate fix of Facebook and Twitter. I'll always have times when I have to express myself, and I like it very much that you take the time to listen.
ReplyDeleteI've made a few really good friends over the years and lost them, and to fair to them, their leaving probably had more to do with my baggage then theirs. I think when you get close to someone all those things start coming out, the good and the bad... I guess it depends on what people are willing to put up to keep you in their lives.